“Sticks and Stones….”

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Well, the week before Thanksgiving I was installing shelving along the wall of my garage.  I stepped off my seven foot step ladder two rungs too soon.  I did a perfect one point landing on my hip and broke it.

I immediately looked around hoping no one had seen me.  No, well that was good news.

Being a coach, I started the check out.  Vision good. Head turns right and left; up and down – good.  Left arm full range of motion – good.  Right arm full range of motion – good.  Left leg “aaarrrrggghhhhhhh!” – definitely not good.  Right leg “aaarrrrggghhhhhhh!” definitely not good.  Use upper body to move lower body.  You guessed it “aaarrrrggghhhhhhh!”.

Which takes us back to the what appears NOW to not have been such good news.  I am lying on my back in the middle of the garage floor.  The garage door is open but a good distance from the street.  My wife is in the kitchen baking Christmas cookies with “Jingle Bells” and other holiday songs playing from the living room.  My cell phone which I always have with me is charging in the bedroom.  I decide to exercise my one and only option and wait as my body becomes aware of what I have done to it and increases the frequency and intensity of pain messages to my brain.

Fortunately within fifteen minutes my wife comes to see if the dog is with me in the garage.

“Have you seen the dog, and what are you doing” she asks?

Fortunately by now the pain has overridden what would have been “Admiring the ceiling of the garage with its dingy shade of white” smart ass remark.  “I stepped of the ladder too soon and fell.”

We repeat the first aid questions. The only difference being that she has to move the left leg herself which illicits “aaarrrrggghhhhhhh!” from me.  And, before I can stop her she tries moving the right leg.  Again,”aaarrrrggghhhhhhh!”

“Should I call 911?” she asks.  This is not really as dumb of a question as you might think.  You must remember she is talking with the male of the species with whom she has lived for over fifty years.

“Let me think about it.” I reply.  Mind you I have been lying on the cold, hard concrete for twenty minutes but still I go through the possibilities.  Could my five foot wife drag me to the car and hoist my six foot frame into it?  This would not be likely in any universe.  What about rolling myself into the trailer for the lawn mower and using the lawn mower to get me to the hospital?  That lost plausibiity at the thought of me rolling anywhere.  Neighbors?  Out of town.  Finally, I reluctantly give the what should have been the obvious answer “Call 911”.

Before she leaves to call 911 she turns and asks, “Do you want me to bring you nicer clothes?” as she walks back into the house.

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Alfie 2.0 Update

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We got Alfie, a three year old rescue, in November of 2014.  He has settled in with his “forever family”.  He is Alfie 2.0 because he looks exactly like our previous black standard poodle name Alfie.

Although it surely is just “poodle” traits, he really does seem to be a combination of our to previouse standard poodles, Fletchie and Alfa Centauri.

Aside from the usual commands he has learned “cuddles” a call to our bed for a nap. (He is not allowed on our bed otherwise.)  When he hears me get the microwave popcorn out he gets super excited and runs to tell my wife and back to me again and again until the corn is popped.

He is becoming more interested in other animal like squirrels, ducks, birds and cats.  Actually, one cat, an old wite tom that Alfie loved to make loose its cool.  Alfie Centauri did not play by the extablished dog/cat rules of engagement.  He didn’t chase cats so that they could run away and up a tree where they could laugh at him with seperiority.  No, Alfie initiated a new tupe of warfare.  He would sneak up on the cat, and before the cat could run, he pounced and attacked from the air.  It seems like this interspecies war shall continue.  Don’t know if Alfie 2.0 will adopt the pounce attack strategy.

This is now his house, yard. street and neighborhood.  If you don’t belong here he lets you know with a very deep and loud bark.  So far, no one has come close enough to see if he would growl.

He has another bark too.  He uses this particularly with the grandkids.  He uses this to get them to play.  Favorite game is hide and seek chase, catch me if you can.

He is currently is working on his AKA Rally designations.  Here are some of the Rally things he has learned.

The Secret to Finding Happiness

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To introduce an experiment, I asked my students if anyone had found any money in the last month? Their ears perked up. They looked at me to see if they needed to call the principal because i had cracked up.

I asked again, an not a single student raised their hand.

Everyone wants happiness, but very few find it.  The reason is that they are not actively looking for happiness.  We are going to test this theory.

You assignment is to for the next week actively look for money.  Obviously, you may not steal it.  (I always point that out because for them it is not so obvious, and they would like to say that I told them to steal.)  Again I got the crazy looks.

In every class some students always find money.

Do you look for happiness?  Where do you look?  Do you look in the newspaper?  Do you look to your spouse?  Do you look to nature?  Do you look to a pet?

Where you look is not important.  What is important that you start to look and keep on looking.

GOOD LUCK!

Happy Amateur Imbibing Alcohol Day, aka Saint Patricks Day.

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Saint Patrick is described as the patron saint of the Irish because he drove the snakes out of Ireland.  He also used the shamrock to teach the Catholic church doctrine regarding the Holy Trinity.

Jump a couple of hundred years into the future, and the celebration has morphed into a bibulous consumption of green beer, wearing of green, kissing, and pinching.

Now I, myself, am not past having a couple of cold ones green or otherwise.

I do not, however, drink on St. Pat’s Day.  Why?  IT’S AMATEUR HOUR FOR DRINKERS!!!  I also try to stay off the highways.  Hopefully, you do the same.

Erin Go Braugh!.

How Were They Ever Popular?

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Watched a PBS program – fifty years with Peter, Paul, & Mary.   They defintely would not have been successful in today’s music scene.

Their lyrics were intelligible.

Their lyrics had meaning.

They sang in tune.

They harmonized.

Their songs were purposeful.

They were modestly dressed. Noone pulled on his dick during a performance.

Noone’s underwear was visible.

They were not foul mouthed.

They advocated for what would better humanity.

None of their lyrics were degrading of females or gays.

None of their lyrics were racist.

They were anti-war.

How were they able to be so popular for fifty years?

What has changed?

When was the last time you heard a love song from this era in pop music?  By love I mean actual love not sex, or sexting, or hooking up, of FWB.

“blowin” Ferguson, Toledo and New York

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Please request your local radio station to play and replay “Blowin In The Wind” written and sung by Bob Dylan.  It was also sung by Peter Paul & Mary, George Harrison, ZiggyMarley and pretty much every generation of performers with the exception of this generation.

To hopefully inspire you to get the song played and another generation involved, I share with you the lyrics which I obtained from Mr. Dylan’s web site:

How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man?
Yes, ’n’ how many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand?
Yes, ’n’ how many times must the cannonballs fly
Before they’re forever banned?
The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind
The answer is blowin’ in the wind

How many years can a mountain exist
Before it’s washed to the sea?
Yes, ’n’ how many years can some people exist
Before they’re allowed to be free?
Yes, ’n’ how many times can a man turn his head
Pretending he just doesn’t see?
The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind
The answer is blowin’ in the wind

How many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
Yes, ’n’ how many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?
Yes, ’n’ how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died?
The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind
The answer is blowin’ in the wind

Copyright © 1962 by Warner Bros. Inc.; renewed 1990 by Special Rider Music
Read more: http://www.bobdylan.com/us/songs/blowin-wind#ixzz3LGFAZVwD

If this is in violation of copyright, please delete.  No infraction was intended.