And He Rolled the Stone Back

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Exactly three hours after the end of Easter Sunday I received the following email from a Christian acquaintance to her Christian friends:

Bud Lite…

A Mexican (an undocumented Democrat), a Black (a documented Democrat), a Muslim and a Redneck were walking together on a beach when the Black stumbled over a bottle in the sand. He picked up the bottle, rubbed the sand off it, and a Genie appeared.
“I can only grant four wishes,” the Genie said. “Since there are four of you, you may have a wish apiece.” Pointing at the Black, he said, “Since you found the bottle, you may have the first wish.” The Black thought for a moment then said, “I wish for a fleet of ships so that I can gather all my people and take them back to our homeland, Africa .” Poof! It was done! Thousands of ships appeared on the skyline.

The Mexican said, “I weesh for enough Cheby peekups to take all my peoples back to our homeland, May-he-co!” Poof! It was done! Row after row of Chevrolet pickups appeared on the beach.
The Muslim said, “I wish for a hundred thousand camels to take all of my people away from this horrible country loaded with infidels so we can live in peace in Muslim countries and serve Allah.” Poof! It was done! A hundred thousand camels suddenly appeared on the beach.

Turning to the Redneck, the Genie asked, “And what is your wish?” The Redneck watched as the loaded pickups began moving toward the border, then looked out to sea and watched the loaded ships sailing out into the sunset, then he looked at all of the Muslims getting on top of the camels and riding off.
The Redneck said, “Just give me a Bud Lite. It don’t get no better than this!”

And Jesus looked around, hung his head in shame at what he saw, went back into the cave and rolled the stone back across the entrance.

I can’t wait to hear what was on the Easter Sunday talk shows!

The Secret to Finding Happiness

To introduce an experiment, I asked my students if anyone had found any money in the last month? Their ears perked up. They looked at me to see if they needed to call the principal because i had cracked up.

I asked again, an not a single student raised their hand.

Everyone wants happiness, but very few find it.  The reason is that they are not actively looking for happiness.  We are going to test this theory.

You assignment is to for the next week actively look for money.  Obviously, you may not steal it.  (I always point that out because for them it is not so obvious, and they would like to say that I told them to steal.)  Again I got the crazy looks.

In every class some students always find money.

Do you look for happiness?  Where do you look?  Do you look in the newspaper?  Do you look to your spouse?  Do you look to nature?  Do you look to a pet?

Where you look is not important.  What is important that you start to look and keep on looking.

GOOD LUCK!

Happy Amateur Imbibing Alcohol Day, aka Saint Patricks Day.

Saint Patrick is described as the patron saint of the Irish because he drove the snakes out of Ireland.  He also used the shamrock to teach the Catholic church doctrine regarding the Holy Trinity.

Jump a couple of hundred years into the future, and the celebration has morphed into a bibulous consumption of green beer, wearing of green, kissing, and pinching.

Now I, myself, am not past having a couple of cold ones green or otherwise.

I do not, however, drink on St. Pat’s Day.  Why?  IT’S AMATEUR HOUR FOR DRINKERS!!!  I also try to stay off the highways.  Hopefully, you do the same.

Erin Go Braugh!.

Of Sincere Pumpkins and HOBBYLOBBY

SCOTUS has ruled that to be able to deny coverage under the ACA, the privately owned company must hold a “sincere” belief.

If a closely held company, such as HobbyLobby, sells products which are produced in countries that allow, if not support,abortion; can HobbyLobby keep its sincere status?

If a closely held company, such as HobbyLobby, uses providers of any kind who provide insurance which covers birth control are they sincere in their held beliefs?

If a closely held company, such as HobbyLobby, sells its products to businesses who provide insurance to their employees which covers birth control, are they really sincere in their religious beliefs?

If a closely held company, such as HobbyLobby, sells to individuals who have insurance that covers birth control, or uses contraceptives, are they really sincere in their religious beliefs?

If they are selective about whom they discriminate against because of their religious beliefs, are they “sincere” enough to be exempted from the Affordable Care Act.

We know that HobbyLobby, at the least, puchases a lot of their merchandise from China.  The government of China supports birth control and abortion.  Could any company who sincerely is against any form of abortion, in good faith, engage in commerce with China or any other company which allows abortion or contraception?

CHECK OUT THE INVENTORY THE NEXT TIME YOU ARE IN A HOBBYLOBBY.  SEE IF THERE IS ANY MERCHANDISE FROM A COUNTRY WHICH ADVOCATE ABORTION OR CONTRACEPTION.

Are they only “sincere” in their religious beliefs if they inprove their bottom line?  If that is the case, are they hypocrites?

 

It’s Time to Make a Choice

Part of the problem with Christianity is that its followers have failed to throw off the yoke of The Old Testament.  The New Testament and the Old Testament are diametrically opposed.  The New Testament teaches love, compassion, caring.  The Old Testament is about violence and revenge.  What else can you call the threat of fire, brimstone and damnation.

What if our politicians were not allowed to quote the Old Testament, but instead were only allowed to quote the New Testament.  The New Testament is one of inclusion.  If we get rid of the Old Testament, we could really mean it when we asked, “What would Jesus do?”.

WWJD about extending unemployment compensation?

WWJD about funding meals on wheels?

WWJD about Medicaid?

WWJD about immigration reform?

WWJD about gay marriage?

WWJD about the money changers on Wall Street?

WWJD about Social Security?

WWHD about a man who couldn’t find a job?  (Would he suggest to his followers that they should teach a man to fish when there was one fish for each fisherman?

WWJD about casting the first stone at a sinner?

WWJD about any social issue?

How can we as a society continue to support and elect politicians who insist that our government does the exact opposite of WWJD?

THE ANSWER IS THAT WE ALLOW THEM TO SPIT THEIR THEIR VENOM UNCHALLENGED, AND THEN WE VOTE THEM INTO OFFICE.