Exactly three hours after the end of Easter Sunday I received the following email from a Christian acquaintance to her Christian friends:
A Mexican (an undocumented Democrat), a Black (a documented Democrat), a Muslim and a Redneck were walking together on a beach when the Black stumbled over a bottle in the sand. He picked up the bottle, rubbed the sand off it, and a Genie appeared.
“I can only grant four wishes,” the Genie said. “Since there are four of you, you may have a wish apiece.” Pointing at the Black, he said, “Since you found the bottle, you may have the first wish.” The Black thought for a moment then said, “I wish for a fleet of ships so that I can gather all my people and take them back to our homeland, Africa .” Poof! It was done! Thousands of ships appeared on the skyline.
The Mexican said, “I weesh for enough Cheby peekups to take all my peoples back to our homeland, May-he-co!” Poof! It was done! Row after row of Chevrolet pickups appeared on the beach.
The Muslim said, “I wish for a hundred thousand camels to take all of my people away from this horrible country loaded with infidels so we can live in peace in Muslim countries and serve Allah.” Poof! It was done! A hundred thousand camels suddenly appeared on the beach.
Turning to the Redneck, the Genie asked, “And what is your wish?” The Redneck watched as the loaded pickups began moving toward the border, then looked out to sea and watched the loaded ships sailing out into the sunset, then he looked at all of the Muslims getting on top of the camels and riding off.
The Redneck said, “Just give me a Bud Lite. It don’t get no better than this!”
And Jesus looked around, hung his head in shame at what he saw, went back into the cave and rolled the stone back across the entrance.
I can’t wait to hear what was on the Easter Sunday talk shows!
May all the Christians who showed up to worship today and wish everyone a “Happy Easter”, show up tomorrow at work to act as Christ wanted us to act.
Saint Patrick is described as the patron saint of the Irish because he drove the snakes out of Ireland. He also used the shamrock to teach the Catholic church doctrine regarding the Holy Trinity.
Jump a couple of hundred years into the future, and the celebration has morphed into a bibulous consumption of green beer, wearing of green, kissing, and pinching.
Now I, myself, am not past having a couple of cold ones green or otherwise.
I do not, however, drink on St. Pat’s Day. Why? IT’S AMATEUR HOUR FOR DRINKERS!!! I also try to stay off the highways. Hopefully, you do the same.
Erin Go Braugh!.
Ok, SCOTUS has already ruled that corporations are people. Then, people must be corporations.
If the court rules that corporations can not obey the law of the land if it disagrees with their religious freedom, then people are entitled to the same protection under the Constitution.
That means that if it is my belief that war is immoral and I am opposed to the actions of our military, I will not have to pay my income tax for whatever percentage of the budget that was for the military.
If it is my belief that it is immoral to kill animals for food, then I will not have to pay that percentage of the federal budget that provides benefits or tax benefits to the beef industry.
If it is my belief that the Congress is immoral in the way that they fail to conduct the business of the people, I can deduct the portion of my tax bill that goes to paying their and their aids salaries.
I could certainly the savings in my tax dollars. What if I believe it is immoral to take form someone that belongs to them without their permission; I wouldn’ have to pay any income tax at all.
I’m not a lawyer or Supreme Court judge; but….
Part of the problem with Christianity is that its followers have failed to throw off the yoke of The Old Testament. The New Testament and the Old Testament are diametrically opposed. The New Testament teaches love, compassion, caring. The Old Testament is about violence and revenge. What else can you call the threat of fire, brimstone and damnation.
What if our politicians were not allowed to quote the Old Testament, but instead were only allowed to quote the New Testament. The New Testament is one of inclusion. If we get rid of the Old Testament, we could really mean it when we asked, “What would Jesus do?”.
WWJD about extending unemployment compensation?
WWJD about funding meals on wheels?
WWJD about Medicaid?
WWJD about immigration reform?
WWJD about gay marriage?
WWJD about the money changers on Wall Street?
WWJD about Social Security?
WWHD about a man who couldn’t find a job? (Would he suggest to his followers that they should teach a man to fish when there was one fish for each fisherman?
WWJD about casting the first stone at a sinner?
WWJD about any social issue?
How can we as a society continue to support and elect politicians who insist that our government does the exact opposite of WWJD?
THE ANSWER IS THAT WE ALLOW THEM TO SPIT THEIR THEIR VENOM UNCHALLENGED, AND THEN WE VOTE THEM INTO OFFICE.
Is it more important that I believe in God, or that God believes in me?
If it is more important that God believes in me, that shifts the whole belief and worship paradigm. If the focus is that God believes in me, then God has faith that I will make the right choices. I then would have the ultimate responsibility for my life. What would become important is not what I ask God for, but rather what i do with what God has given me. There is no longer then a God who needs worship, but rather a God that has given us what we need and trusts us to do the right thing. The focus shifts from belief to action. It emphasizes our use of free will and the responsibility that goes with it.
There is no need to beg for forgiveness; God accepts and believes that we will choose to do what we believe is good.
Is it time for a paradigm shift?
Isn’t it glorious how non-believers can do good things without the promise of a reward?
Isn’t it horrifying how believers can do bad things for the promise of a reward?